How many horse riders does it take to change a light bulb?...?

WESTERN PLEASURE RIDERS:



Oh, my God, someone fix that bulb, I have to have light so that

my silver and spangles all glow to their best and so that all the

highlighter on Old Peanut Head makes his nose look so smooth and

sparkly, and oh, my diamond studs have to flash in the light, you

know, so oh, someone has to fix it -- oh, maybe you without all

the silver on your saddle, obviously you can't ride, you can do

it.





ENDURANCE RIDER:

Light bulb? Do you mind, I'm trying to get my horse's

pulse/respiration/hydration levels down to respectable levels.

Once that is done, I have another 50 miles to go before I can

even think about changing a light bulb.





DRESSAGE QUEEN:

Change a light bulb? Are you joking? I couldn't possibly be

expected to subject myself to such a menial task. Change it

yourself. Oh, and wash your hands when you are finished. The very

thought!





CLASSICAL DRESSAGE QUEEN:

These things cannot be rushed, but must be approached slowly,

with great patience, and adherence to the principles laid down by

the classical masters, otherwise the light bulb will not attain

its true potential, but will forever just be a shadow of its true

self. Never, ever, use any type of gadget when changing the light

bulb. That is an offense to the principles of classical light

bulb changing.





EVENTER:

Wuss! As soon as my arm is out of this sling broken after falling

off at that large stone wall while riding Hell Bent for Leather

cross-country, I'll change it. Until then, deal with the dark.

It'll put hair on your chest. Only dressage riders require

lights, anyway.





SHOW JUMPER:

Why on Earth would I need to change a light bulb when the whole

world knows that the sun shines out of ';I disagree';. Why, when I

release over a jump, the spectators are practically blinded.





NATURAL HORSEMAN:

You must instill respect in the light bulb, so that it sees you

as the Alpha light bulb, using ';light bulb dynamics'; (video set

available at $179.00 on my Website). Once you have done this, you

will find that there is really no need to change the light bulb

at all, but that the light bulb will, with very little coaxing

from you (using patented ';light bulb coaxer'; designed by me -

$99.00 each, for extra $49.99 you get a introductory video thrown

in) will behave as all good light bulbs should.





HUNTER RIDER:

Well, I'm waiting for my trainer to tell me exactly how but he's

changing light bulbs somewhere else right now.





SIDESADDLE RIDER:

Well, one things for certain.... if they can do it, I can do it,

and with both legs on the same side of the step ladder..... stand

back and watch me! But first I have to find my top hat and veil,

cut the crusts off the sandwich and pack it in a linen napkin,

fold my rain gloves with the thumbs together and place them under

the billets, have my saddle restuffed and make an

apron...............



LOL!How many horse riders does it take to change a light bulb?...?
You forgot the Happy Hackers - Lightbulbs ?- we don't need lightbulbs I've got so much reflective gear I shine by myself !





And the pony clubbers - Mummmmmeeeee, make it work, NOW !How many horse riders does it take to change a light bulb?...?
heheheh hey where's the barrel racers??? we can screw the top out of three cans in 15 seconds... shouldn't take us but maybe 2 seconds and a couple fo quick turns to change a light bulb!!!!!
Love it, esp the natural horseman skit. Cool sense of humour.
ok.... I agree with the first poster... you have way to much time on your hands. But I did laugh on the Western Pleasure one..... I worked at a western pleasure training stable for a year and that was enough for me.......that was when I decided I would stick to barrel racing.
hehe werez the gymkhana riders lol
well I personally enjoyed reading this...lol. I guess some of the people here don't have a sense of humor at all....lol. The Natural Horseman one was really great. Thanks for the laugh...I appreciated =) I agree with Bisquit %26amp; Bailey...were is the one for barrel racers?...that would be good =)



Edit.....I read this to my husband...lol...he is still laughing =)
how about the working horseman?

first i need to get saddled and out to ride fence and check on the cattle,round em up and turn them so we can get them to the pens for sorting cutting and doctoring.change horses and i always get the green one so after the rodeo ride and the lunch of dirt push them back out to pasture.then i find a nice tree to catch up on some sleep(dog snorred in my ear all night)chase down the horse that found out how to undo his reins.cus kick and get seated.ride back to the barn and muck out the stalls and start with evening chores.eat dinner and feed the horses.getting dark and the lone bulb just blew.cus kick and go to the house to get the truck keys pull up to the door and turn on the headlights.i guess ill change that bulb tommorrow------------two weeks later
Brilliant - horsey and a sense of humour - great combination!!! I shall pass it on!
Wow! That's the funniest thing I've seen in a long, long, long time.



I particularly liked the Natural Horseman and the Classical Dressage Queen! What a hoot!!!
Love the sidesaddle seat rider and the classical dressage queen. :D Very funny!
lol thats great and yeah for those of yall who arent into horses should shut up cuz you wont enjoy this as much if you dont no wats goin on XP but i do and i loved the classical dressage queen...its like i hear my instructor talking!
hahahaha i am going to email this to my horsie friends.
LOL!!! That was funny!!! Thanks for the laugh in the morning!!!
Loved it - very witty. Especially the dressage queen - my horse is stabled with a whole load of horses belonging to a dressage queen. Actually I really liked the sidesaddle - very true to form.

Now what about racing?
THE JOCKEY:

Change a light bulb? That's been done for 3 minutes now...god you're slow.
Haaaaa Haaaaaa!! That was funny!!
lol. That was interesting for sure. I liked the natural horsemanship one, and the eventer. The classical dressage queen was funny too.
Nice, especially the Natural Horseman one
Thank you ! :D, that's the funniest thing I've read in a long time !!! Now I'll address your question(?) SOMEBODY, MOVE THE DAMN LADDER... I'M TRYING TO GET THIS APPY MARE OUT OF THE...

OUCH... DAMMIT



John R : VERY FUNNY TOO !



Biscuit: You CWACKED me up... AGAIN !
Loved it-have to show to barn buddies.very nice to have a change of pace and be able to laugh:) Thanks

what about the arabian halter classes and liberty-tee-hhee
Haha, all of these would be so true. =]
haha :)
you have way tooo much time on your hands
I got bored after the dressage queen, sorry!



Former eventer, now retired!
you have to be into riding and having horses to enjoy your ? or more like joke.....
I thought you were supposed to ask a question - not write a rather boring book ! ! !